What a waste

I gave my life to Christ and put my faith in His work done on the cross for my sins when I was in my early teen years. I was a christian. I was a sinner that had put my faith in Jesus Christ. I however did not allow my self to grow in my knowledge and understanding of who God was and His love for me. I went to church and did the "christian" thing to do. I knew what everyone expected outwardly form me. However, I didn't pick up the bible and read it and study it for my self, for truths that as a believer would help me in my walk with Christ. Instead I just got info from what ever my pastor or sunday school teacher told me. (which was and is not enough) I was begining to die spiritually.

The enemy (satan) began to bring temptations of disobeying authority, namely my parents, and tempting me to begin hanging around people that I thought would make me cool. Well, as I was with all of my new "friends" I began to slip more and more, as time went on. Further and further from my Father, further and further from the one that only years before I had realized the great price that had been paid for me that I did not deserve because of anything I did, or because of who I was. The same God that through His Gift of Jesus would allow me on judgement day to present my self not as Corey but as Corey in Christ which paid the price to cover all of my sins.

As I continued to go farther and farther away from living my life for Christ and the Truth, I was I believe given a wake up call years later. I was "minding my own business" and living "my life" for me and myself. I married my high school sweetheart and thought I was living the "good life". I always felt as though I was not on the right page but I still had Jesus, or at least I called on Him when I needed Him. Well, that was just when I thought that I couldn't handle it my self when something went terribly wrong.

My wife and I had began to drift apart and basicly were just living together as married room mates. Still married but none of the love and good aspects of emotional ties were there. Our Marriage was dead. Now, just as my spiritual life, so too was my marriage. No divorce but, man it was bad. The biggest thing is, I was almost oblivious to it (satan is the great deceiver). I figured that the emotional and relational seperation and the constant fighting was just how marriage was going to be.

Well, one day, my wife told me that she did not love me any more. In anger I said things and she said things and I thought this was the end. I took off and so did she. Having realized at this point that I was loosing the one that I "loved", I then felt alone, very alone. It was in this moment, this very moment when all the pain and anger and all other mixed emotions were just pounding down on me with the weight of a freight liner, that I heard this small voice. That still small voice. That voice that had power. That voice that, as I began to listen more intently in that moment, I realized was that of Christ. Not audibly, but from with in the depth of my soul.

As I began to focus on Christ, tears began to run down my face, and I bean to weap. I was not only feeling the pain of my marriage, but intensely feeling the pain of regret and guilt for all of the pain that I had caused my wife and others but primarily Christ through the years as I would, in front of family and the church crowd, proudly call my self a christian, and then to my "friends" never give the acknowledgement of Christ and what He had done for me and ,for them, if they would only but to beleive. I remember as I cried out for forgiveness, for the way I had trashed what it meant it be a christian, by my representation through my words and my actions. I had so many opportunities to share Christ with others that needed Him, and did not.

When my "friends" needed a solution to a problem or they were hurting, I would give them my own solution or just offer them many of the worlds devices that only offer a temporary "releif" of pain, and only lead to the need of it more and more. (alchohol, drugs, stimmulants, promiscuity with girlfriends, revenge, etc.)

I have shared all of this to help you understand where I am coming from when I make the statement of "What a waste". I knew the Living Savior of the world. I had His business card so to speak by the writing on my heart. But just as I warn you young people at our student meetings; be careful of, and choose wisely, who you choose to spend your time with.

As christians the devil wants nothing more than to pull you away from the blessings of God. The devil wants you and your testiment of your life to be powerless before others that do not believe. The more the devil distances you from God the easier it is for the devil to influence you through our culture, media, friends, and family, instead of you influencing them for Christ. Don't waste your walk with Christ. Don't waist the breath that you have edifying the things of this world. The world's way brings nothing but temporary things, death, and destruction, and Christ's has come and brings life and truth.

Well to challenge you all, I say, don't try and fit in by compromising your walk with Christ. Instead seek God, read His word (the bible), pray (talk to God), and share the love of Christ with others. The life that I chose to live for Christ in the first 13 years of my new life in Christ, I really feel that I wasted it. I was not the representation of Christ to my friends and family, and even my wife and children. I finally began about 4 years or so ago to pray and ask God to change me, to help me understand Him more, and help me to live for Him. I asked Him to help me understand what I was reading when I would read the bible. I asked Him to change and renew my mind, heart, and attitude, to Him and His word.

I tell you, young believers, do not waste your walk. I have really read and even studied the word of God now more and more each year for the past 4 years out of desiring to, not because I have to. It did initially begin as "I had to do it". I'll be honest. But as I prayed and asked God for the desire, and as His word began to get inside me. He as given me the deisre to read and pray and serve Him. :)

I have gotten my self involved with sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ with strangers, with praying and talking with God. I have found a purpose in a local body of Christ here at East North Street Church, and am serving. I find my self wanting to be more like Christ to represent Him well. I don't say these things to lift myself up. I say these things to show what God has done in me and through me. I have a joy and a security that is beyond explanation. Most of all, and more importantly, I have developed a real, living, relationship with God through Jesus.

Young people, if you don't know Jesus as your savior, you need to get with God and figure that out. See the bible, in mathew, mark, luke, john, and romans, or see Monique and I and the other student leaders, or your pastor, or our pastor, Steve Stroup, or a friend or relative that knows and understands the Gospel of Jesus.

You need Him, wether you choose to beleive it or not. And one day you will stand before a Holy God either as a sinner with no way to cleanse your self of your unrightousness, or you will stand before a Holy God as a sinner whos sin is covered by Jesus Christ. Just a hint here, rightous by Christ = Heaven, rightous by your self (which is not possible)= suffer God's judgement eternaly in the lake of fire, aka HELL.

For those of you that call Christ as your Savior and have put your faith in Him, if you are not already doing so you need to make Christ your Lord & Savior, not just Savior. He suffered, was beaten, bled, hung on a cross, and took on your sin that day at the cross as he died for you. Just as he has risen from the dead so also should you "rise form the dead". Through Salvation, you have "died" to sin and have been given a new life. Live for Christ, not your friends, peer pressure, video games, sports, porn, etc., not for boyfriends or girlfriends, and not for yourself. If you profess to be a christian, LIVE 4 CHRIST.

The best way to do that is to pray and ask, read what God says in the bible to us, and did I mention. . . pray & read God's word (bible). Next is to put yourself around other authentic believers, not talking about "perfect people" Christ is the only one that is perfect. I am talking about other believers that want to follow Christ and God's word to give praise and honor to God and not to man.

Well, young people, I love you guys so much, but I pray that if you don't already know and feel it, that one day you will feel and know just how so much more Christ loves you. I am gonna go now. But be encouraged, once you do accept Christ as your Savior, you don't have to do everything all together all at once. God, knows you just as you are when you come to Him.

Monique and I, and our body of believers here at East North Street Church, and hopefully your parents, are all praying for you, and will try to be there to help guide you along your way. But remember that even when no one can, Jesus can.

In Christ

- Corey -